Do people who have affairs and destroy familys ever grow up?

My wife had an affair after 10 years together..she had an affair with a coworker and our boys were perteen and were devestated. We had love in our house and it happened fast without warning. She moved in with him. She is acting like a teenager and she's 35..do they ever come to realize the pain and heartache that they cause?..I know men do this also..